Happy New Year

Happy New Year.
I always like new beginnings. 
I like new years. 
I like Mondays. (I actually like rainy days too.)
I like coming home after being gone for a long time ready to start fresh. 
I like the feelings of beginning again, and trying again, and starting over.

Last year I got divorced.
Last year I put my daughter in a girls residential treatment center for 10 months.
Last year I was a single mom.
Last year was hard and heavy.

2013 was emotionally difficult for me and goes in the history books as one of the most difficult years on record.  I spent the year trying to stay positive and strong even though there was an opposing force trying to drag me down.  I literally would wake up in the morning feeling like I had a battle to fight and I was determined that I was not going to lose.  It was daily choice to decide that I would NOT lose the battle!

On the flip side... I grew.  I survived.  I ended the year stronger and better than I started.

Last year I bought my very first ever car.
Last year I paid all the bills myself.
Last year I was the Young Women's president.
Last year I drove my family to Southern California for a vacation.
Last year I made sure that my children felt loved and happy.
Last year I went on my first date.

I am strong.
I am a survivor.
I am a better version of myself than I was even before the divorce.

Back in 2011 when Jeff first asked for a divorce my first reaction was that people like me don't get divorced.  My second reaction was of GREAT fear.  How will I ever survive as a divorced woman?   I felt like I had the scarlet letter D on me everywhere I went.  I was afraid of the unknown.  The future looked dark and scary.  I didn't know how to do "divorced."  Other people did divorce but I didn't.  It was a scary time as I looked into the dark tunnel of the future.  It was black and unknown.  My heart hurt for my children.

I soon realized that living in the present was the way to go.  I chose to live in the present. I was happier living in the present.  I felt power in the present.  I only had control over the present.  I also only had control over ME, so I decided to work on creating the best ME I could while living in the present.

This year I am going to blog more about how I thrived during my trial.  I learned so much! 
 I am learning so much.

This year I am going to grow even more.  I have a vision for myself that I've never had.  I have realized that I am allergic to negativity.  I want to rid myself of it.  I want to surround myself with people who also have positive energy.  My vision only has room for positive energy people.  I have decided to be DONE with the struggle and anger and fear and hate.  I want to rid myself of it so I can be FREE to thrive.  I am in charge of my story.  I can change it.  I am changing it.

Henry David Thoreau said, "It's not the destination that make you great.  It's the journey that creates the change that makes you great."

I'm on my journey.  I am more conscious.  I choose to live in the present.  There is power in the present.  I am happy.  I am grateful.  I am blessed.  I know that I am where I should be right now in my life.  That is a great feeling. 

2014 is going to be one of my best years yet!  Stay tuned.
and
Happy New Year to you!