Motherhood. It's just what we do.

Last week at Emmy's harp lesson this is what transpired.  Emmy was being a wee bit difficult towards the end of the lesson because she was very tired.

Teacher:  Emmy, let's play your new piece so your mom can hear you play it.
Emmy: No, not today.
Teacher:  Oh please, Emmy.  Your mom drove all the way down here so she could hear you play your harp at your lesson.
Emmy:  She's here because she has nothing else to do.

Excuse me?  We both looked at each other and rolled our eyes and did a chuckle.  My chuckle had the tone of an embarrassed apology on behalf of my difficult child.  Then, our precious teacher listed all of the things that certainly I would have loved to have been doing instead of carting a child to music lessons like getting my nails done, making dinner, reading a book, going shopping.  I whole heartily agreed with her... at the time.   The more I have thought of Emmy's comment of having nothing else to do besides taking her and all of my other children to their lessons and activities the more I have come to agree with her.  Emmy, you are absolutely right!  I don't have any thing else to do.  Of course there are things that I'd like to be doing, but you are all I have to do.  Children is what I do!   For me, you are what is the most important thing for me to be doing.
I remember when Maryn was a few months old I first learned this principle.  As a new mom I  listed all the things I wanted to accomplish that day: sew a blanket for my baby, scrapbook my growing family, read scriptures, clean our tiny condo, watch Oprah, do laundry, decorate a room, make a craft, create a healthy dinner, read all the Classics, can fresh produce... you know, the dreams of a first time mom.  Ha!  As Maryn grew she became more demanding and took me away from my to do list.  I grew very frustrated and would complain to Jeff every night, "I didn't get anything accomplished today."    One day I was talking to my mom and telling her of my woes and frustrations and wondering how the heck did she accomplish everything under the sun with 6 kids?  Of course she laughed because she felt like she didn't accomplished anything either.  Then she gave me the greatest advice that changed everything for me.  Are you ready?  It's earth shattering I promise...
She said, Raising children is what you do.  You don't do anything else.  Your priority is your family.  My very important list should be replaced with things like, read to my child; do puzzles; paint; play Barbies; snuggle; feed them; change them; teach them about Jesus and love them.  I'm not perfect with that list by no means and through the 14 years of having children the list is pretty much the same with a few alterations... drive them here.  drive them there.  listen to them.  wash their leotards and baseball pants.  teach them to cook and clean.  read to them.  Teach them to act like Jesus.  be patient with their weirdness.  
I am grateful for that advice.  I have to remind myself of it on a daily basis when I have things that I want to do for ME.  but really children is what I do because I am a mom.  (But, yes, there are times when doing something for ME is absolutely, emotionally, necessary.)

There are so many friends and women who have influenced my life in some way or another. 

 I want to recognize my MOM for being the #1 influencer in my life.  She is the one who I am amazed at each night as I put my head on the pillow exhausted, wondering how she did it and still appeared so put-together.  Here are some things she taught me...

• Even if you don't have money you always have enough money for the important stuff.  She was thrifty and helped a family of 8 feel like we were rich.  The only time I remember her getting a new outfit was on Mother's Day.  The only time we ate at a restaurant was when we had a coupon.  But, we always were having fun and doing things as a family.
• I always felt loved and important to her.  She made us her priority.
• I remember her teaching me to clean a bathroom... cleaning WITH me.
• She wanted me to cook WITH her in the kitchen.
• She let me sit beside her and watch her sew, often sewing my own stitches.
• Sometimes she would sew all night long to have something made for choir, dancing, Prom or Easter for us.  We would wake up and we felt like the sewing fairy had been there because magically during the night she had completed the outfit and have it hanging on the doorway to surprise us with.
• She has taught me to go after my interests and develop my talents. 
• You can do anything and everything if you chose to.  You just have to work hard.  You have to be brave and bold and try new things.  She still is very encouraging.
• Always have your talk memorized for church.  Don't ever read a story in church.  That is so boring for the listeners. 
• Go and talk to people that you know even if your family is waiting and impatient.  Be interested in others.
• Always invite lonely people over for Sunday dinner even if it might be extra work and even if the family members don't want you to.  It's the right thing to do. 
• Serve and Give and Serve and Give.
• It's all about being together as a family, no matter what you do, as long as you're together.
• If you're going to do something do it right the first time.
• Measure twice, cut once.
• Eating white bread is like eating a cardboard box.
• Always go to every one's wedding receptions because we would hope they would come to ours.
• When you send out a Christmas Picture always always always include the parents in the picture, not just the kids. 

I told her that if I could go back and be her young daughter again I would be totally obedient and respectful because I now know the pain that she felt when I was disrespectful and disobedient.  I also feel the joys and sorrows that she felt as of mom because of my experiences as a mother.  This makes me feel closer to her.  I am so grateful that we are friends.  I respect her and love her.   Happy Mother's Day Mom!

I also need to honor my wonderful Mother-in-law, Karen Slichta.  I love this picture of her and her sister, Aunt Sandy.  They are great examples to me of friendship and sister love.  I love when they are together because they are always laughing.  They have one story after another of crazy, funny, weird, hilarious things that have happened to them.  They have the funniest laughs ever and can get you laughing tears right along with them.  I have learned a lot from Karen also. 

• She has deep love for her family.  She is good at telling and showing them that.
• she gives the best gifts. 
• She is so friendly.  She can carry a conversation on with anyone.  She makes you feel loved and comfortable. 
• She loves to send meaningful cards with special messages that makes you feel significant in her life. 
• She has exquisite taste in crafts.  She is craftsy.
• She has raised an honorable, loyal son with values and integrity. 

In the last year or so we have enjoyed frequent phone calls which have been nice and brought us closer together.  I am grateful for her friendship. 

Happy Mother's Day to both of you ladies too. 

So much more could be said about mothers and other women in my life, but this is long enough.  

Amen!