The pains of Motherhood

 

It's time I share about what happened to our family on January 25th, 2013.

 

Maryn has been dealing with many moves, many schools, many friends,

divorced parents, secrets about a certain parent and a new boyfriend across the street.

 

Not to mention that she's been the typical spazy teenager with the hormones, attitude, insecurities and regular weirdness that teenagers deal with.

 

She's been trying to figure out the purpose of life and who she is!

 

So hard and confusing, right?

I gave her a lot of slack because as an adult I was having a hard time dealing with the things that Maryn was being asked to deal with.

 

Many teenagers would go to drugs or get in trouble with the law... fortunately, not Maryn.

But, she did have many many many difficulties that she was facing... and influences in her life, and a boyfriend living across the street etc. etc.

 

Anyway, to save you the details Jeff and I knew that something huge had to happen and happen really quick!  We had to get her out of a situation. 

We had to save her life, spiritually and physically. 

We were scared too but fortunately we were on the same page with what needed to happen.

 

On January 25th we picked her up from school and took her to a different "school."

It's a school where she will live for 10 months.

She has a counselor who loves her.

There are senior missionaries who love her and bless her.

She has a Branch President and Young Women's leader and Seminary teacher and many people who love her and help her.

 

I felt the Spirit when we toured this place and knew that this is where Maryn was going to grow and learn and figure out how love herself. 

She needed to be here and I KNEW it.

 

Maryn will not know until she has her own children how hard this day was for me.

I was a crying mess.  I felt a lot of guilt.  I questioned if it was the right thing to do.

 

But it was.

Even as Maryn hugged us to say good-bye she said,

"Thank you"

almost like she knew this was the answer. 

Almost like she knew she couldn't fix things on her own.

 

After 3 weeks we got to see Maryn.  It was the best!

 She was still my Maryn.  She was cute and happy.  She wasn't angry like most girls in the beginning.  She knew it was for the best.  That was all I needed to see.

I have to admit that the first month I didn't really miss Maryn.  It was a relief to know where she was and to know she was safe.  I could go to bed at night and relax. 

I didn't realize how much she was sucking from me until she wasn't around. 

 

Now that it has been almost 5 months since she has been there it has been an awesome experience.  She is a different girl.  She talks different.  She communicates and expresses her feelings and takes responsibility.  She is learning so many skills that any human being should learn that I want all my kids to go to this school.  I want my Young Women at church to learn what Maryn is learning.  All teenagers should take classes or spend a few months at a school like Maryn's.  The world would be a better place.  Teenagers would learn WHO they are at this critical age and then could grow up to be respectable adults. 
This schools philosophy is if you know who you are and love yourself then your choices will reflect that.  The reason kids make dumb choices is because they are trying to figure out who they are... they don't have self-confidence or self-love.

 

It makes all the difference.

Maryn is so fortunate to be learning these lessons at her age.  She knows it too.  I am so grateful for this school and the people who LOVE her so much.  It brings tears to my eyes for the investment these people make for my daughter.

I love this girl SO much!
I have always seen so much potential in her and known she had it in her to be whatever she wanted.  It has been awesome to watch her grow and change.  It has been super special to watch her peel back layers and deal with the nasty things in life that she's been dealt.  She's living in a bubble where she can see clearly to deal with her nastys.  What I love the most though is that she and I have grown closer.  She likes me.  She misses my cooking.  She sees what I have done for her.  She likes my letters and thinks I am funny.  She feels closer to me because she knows that I would do ANYTHING for her.  Oh, it's the best when your child realizes things like this.
I love this girl so much!

The real impact of this experience will hit Maryn when she has a daughter who is 15...
then she'll know what it has been like for me to have her there.
Hard doesn't begin to describe it...