We Are Enough!

Raise your hand if you've ever had a day when you wanted to just stay in bed.

Oh my. The response is overwhelming. ALL of you?

One of the reasons I love to blog is to read other people's blogs... mainly the mommy-sort-of-blogs. I could spend hours a day surfing the blog world. It gives me a feeling of having a social life; I don't know most of the women who I read about but feel connected because there's a universal theme in what mommy's have to write about. All mom's deal with kids who spill milk, who have a potty mouth, who won't sleep through the night, who won't practice the piano, who can't get their kids to do their jobs, who feel exhausted as each day closes but also who love their family enough to wake up and do it all over again.

This week I read about some mom's who had trials way harder than I have had... a mom who's 2 year old died... aspirated on a tiny piece of apple. I read about a mom who takes time every morning to put a brace on her son's back. There was a writer of a blog, a beautiful blond woman, who died suddenly leaving a husband and 4 adorable children. I also read about my brother-in-law who has a blood clot and my sister who wants to barf a lung out due to being pregnant. I read about a lady who went to Peru for a week to help hundreds of malnourished children. I quickly repented and became grateful for my trials.

My point is... we all have troubles and sorrows.

Last week I was wallowing in the depths of that depressing yuck that sometimes we find ourselves in. I was mad at having allergies that made eating hard. I was struggling with the instability of my life right now... wondering what the future holds for us. I hated that Jeff was leaving for California on Sunday and coming home Saturday leaving me to carry the family load alone for the week...again. I was feeling sorry for myself and SO TIRED! I was feeling sad to be me.

At church a good friend came up to me, knowing that Jeff was leaving me again said, "what day can I bring you dinner?"

My reply, "oh no no no no. We're fine."

Her come back. "What day would work better for you? Wednesday or Thursday?"

The overwhelming thing is she is suffering a tremendous sadness in her life. Her dad was diagnosed with a fatal form of cancer and has a short time to live. She has admitted to me at having a hard time of even getting dressed some days because her sadness overtakes her. I should be taking HER dinner, but felt so grateful when her scrumptious dinner arrived on Wednesday.

Again, at the end of church on Sunday my visiting teacher came up to me and said, "I'm not going to wait for you to ask me to do something for you. I'm just going to GIVE you my service. When can I bring you dinner?" Embarrassed that I had a dinner already scheduled I said, "Oh, no no no no! We'll be fine!"

Her reply, "How about Thursday at 5:30?"

Ok then. I was embarrassed, but so grateful when her delicious dinner arrived. I had to warn the kids to not let it leak that we were given 2 dinners in 1 week. I also felt a twinge of guilt when my visiting teacher told me she had to work the whole day leaving her husband to make the dinner. She also had to drive 20 minutes to deliver it to us.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Why me? I should have been making these friends dinner and then I would have forgotten about my own misery. However, Wednesday and Thursday were such happy days for me. I didn't have to think about what to have for dinner. I also felt a lightness knowing that 2 great ladies where thinking about me and serving me. Receiving service is a wonderful feeling. I prayed that their families were blessed for their sacrifices in serving my family. I would imagine that in the lives of these 2 families they experienced a level of peace and happiness. Forgetting yourself and reaching out to others is where the true happiness lies. At the same time... I have a desire now to be more forceful with my service. Even when I said no, these friends just gave.

I want to do this. I know how it makes me feel and now I want to pay it forward.

Another huge blessing that I received this week...
This is a bit personal but I only share because I think it is a message for ALL of us.
I went to get my temple recommend signed by a member of the Stake Presidency. President Kim Nelson welcomed me into the room. (He is a speaker for Time Out for Women and has written a book... perhaps familiar to some of you women. I felt privileged to meet with him.) He asked if he could start with a prayer which he offered. When he was done he looked at me and said, "Do you have a few minutes, sister? The Lord doesn't knock me on the head too often, but when He does I need to listen. I felt some things strongly when I was praying." President Nelson then asked me if I was hard on myself. I thought for a second and realized that perhaps I am but never thought of it as being hard on myself... only as not performing or accomplishing all that I want to... you know, having high expectations.
Then President Nelson went on, "Heavenly Father wants you to know that you are enough. He loves you." (then he closed his eyes and got emotional) "Oh, Heavenly Father loves you SO much. He wants you to know that he loves you. You are His daughter. He is proud of you. Don't be hard on yourself because YOU ARE ENOUGH." This actually took about 20 minutes... much more than these few sentences, but this was the gist.

I was emotional at this personal message. I felt that Heavenly Father knew me. He loved me and wasn't chastising me for the things I wasn't doing. I go to bed at night frustrated that I'm not doing enough. My prayers are always filled with, "please fill the gaps with my children where I fall short."

Today was Stake Conference. President Nelson spoke and carried the theme of our interview into his talk. I felt like it was directed to me again. Here are some of the notes that I took from his talk.

"Heavenly Father takes what we have and makes it enough. Moroni was an ordinary kid and he turned him into a captain and made him enough. The story of the loaves and fishes are an example of the Lord saying, 'give me what you have and I will make it enough.' Enoch was slow in speech and all the people hated him. The Lord told him to go forth and he would make him a prophet. The Lord sees us how we are and He knows what we will become. Heroes are made by ordinary people using what the Lord gave them to do extraordinary things."

That is my lengthy epistle for today. You are ENOUGH. I am ENOUGH. Let's be enough together as we serve without being asked, thus forgetting our own personal challenges that we face each day.